The End of A Proving Era

I just ended a 25-year proving era. I’m grieving.
For as long as I can remember, I lived with the idea that there was a moment coming when everything would finally work for me. I’d hit it big, I’d get the award, I would have made it. I kept trying, kept striving, to prove myself again and again — to whom exactly? Good question. Saying yes to more experiences, showing up in all the places all the time. Clients would say, “Wow, you are everywhere.” You bet I am!? Gotta be seen!!
I’m exhausted.
My body has been telling me this for a few years now. Thank you, perimenopause. But I wasn’t listening. Wait… what do you mean I don’t function best on low-cal snacks, missed meals, wine, and caffeine? Apparently, my body now prefers things like quiet, nervous system regulation, nutrients, protein, hydration… and REST. (eye roll)
And I’m sad. That young whipper snapper has now evolved into the don’t-gotta-prove-a-thing woman I am becoming. My 25-year do-it-all era has come to an end.
How did I get here? Well… age. Body wisdom. And watching the women I admire most — the ones with long, meaningful careers. They didn’t suddenly get somewhere magical. They just kept showing up. They kept sharing their work. They kept being visible. They kept letting their work evolve as they evolved. They weren’t chasing a destination. They were just living their work.
And something aha’d in me.
There’s nowhere to go. My destination is simply to be present enough to recognize and accept myself. Of course it is, but I feel it deeper now. Like now I am enough. Like really.
Not everyone knows I’m here. But some people do. And lives are being impacted through my work, my voice, and my weird and wonderful expression.
That’s just it. To keep showing up. To keep sharing. To keep nurturing the people we serve.
Maybe this is the quiet truth no one tells you: you don’t become enough after the big break. You feel enough first, and the work expands from that place because you finally hold the capacity instead of chasing something outside of yourself.
This is leadership. When we stop trying to prove ourselves, and we just are. I knew this before, but now I KNOW this in my body. It’s felt. And it feels really good.
I have just begun this new era, and I am curious to see what might unfold next. I am sad to let go of what has served me well, my do-it-all gal. Oh, I do love her. But this next version of me is calling, and I am doing my best to listen and let go.
Our Co-Leadership Experience is really about this next era, too. A space where leaders can stop proving and start inhabiting the leadership that’s already theirs. If this reflection resonates with you, I hope you’ll join us. It would be pretty special to share some conversation and space around this together.
Details to our event are here. ​