The Feeling We Are Chasing With Things 

The Feeling We Are Chasing With Things 

In my meditation this morning it came to me, “why are we always seeking new things, like furniture, cars, clothes?” Because these things make us feel good about ourselves in some way. When we have those things, we have feelings like “I made it, I am of value, I am better than, I hope I look like a big deal and I supported someone I care about.” I know for me, when I got my dream car (my Mini Cooper) I thought, “I’ve made it! I am now successful.” Yet success or any feeling doesn’t last as long as the thing does, but we think it will. 

 

Feelings come and go as fast as you can purchase them. 

 

These ‘things’ are tokens of our preserved status or hierarchy in our little world. Because you are not really competing with everyone, you are just secretly competing with the people you care about or compare yourself to. “My life is going so much better than yours because I have this or that.” This is a hard truth, but if that new TV or that new pair of shoes didn’t ring some status symbol bell for you, I would call you out on your bull. You don’t buy uncomfortable shoes for you – you buy them for other people to look at. And you most certainly don’t buy the coolest TV on the market without having your buddies over to watch a game.

 

I do really admire people who don’t seem to have this ‘new stuff feeds a feeling’ need. They are quite content with their 20-year-old sofa and unmatched bath towels. But I wonder if that also makes them feel a certain way… like, “I’m not wealthy, I don’t deserve nice things,” or they truly believe they don’t have needs. Maybe that has it’s own symbolism as well. 
The reason I think this came to my mind – sitting listening to the universal messages swirling about, hoping to catch one and riff on it – is that we are creating too much. We are in constant creation, needing this, wanting that, and we are causing a lot of harm to our environment and ourselves because of it. And at the end of the day, aren’t the trees and nature and people more important than all this stuff? So when can we get off the stuff bandwagon and start to find good feelings within us without it?

That was my question.

 

And here was the answer I got: If you are able to find a sense of value, deep connection, joy, worthiness, confidence, and assurance just in yourself without anything else, then you are truly enlightened and deserve some praise. You are healing our world from the inside, thank you.

If those feelings can come from the inside without having something tangible to prove it, that’s total victory in my eyes. 

 

We don’t need to prove our worth to anyone but ourselves. I don’t know why this worthiness became such a source of contentment – maybe because people over the years have tried to beat it out of us to show power over our own free will and our spirits have just carried that burden for too long. It’s time to let it go. We can choose differently. We can choose not to associate a full feeling with a thing. We can choose to get it from helping another, volunteering, restoring our planet, meditating, nature, our family, friends or something that truly fills us. 

 

Because at the end of the day, all people are looking for when they purchase something is a way out. A way out of their struggle or unhappiness or their unsatisfactory life that they somehow got themselves in (by their own choices, may I add) and they need a little fix, a little something to bring them just an ounce of joy or delight even if it’s going to cost them in the long run. Not only figuratively – the planet won’t be able to keep up with our compulsion for stuff – but also our wallets.

 

Keeping up with the Joneses. Who cares about the Joneses?! They are unhappy.

 

So what is your answer?
What kind of need do you have for material things?
What things pull you away from what really matters in your life?
What stuff did you buy because you were feeling crappy about yourself?
What stuff do you own that you feel like you deserve because you have “arrived’ in some capacity?

It’s all a part of the rat race, it’s all a part of our need to be, look and feel like something. Why can’t we just BE REAL, admit our craziness, recognize where we’d like to improve and do our best to fix our inner turmoils so we have the energy and time to help the need of our people and planet? 

 

My side notes about stuff and where to spend your money. 
If you feel like you would like to decorate your house or your space in a ‘you’ kinda way, well there are many thrift stores and artists who can create things out of recycled materials. And there are always people getting rid of stuff! Be on the lookout and say “hey friend, when you’re done with that, I’d really like it.” I basically decorated my entire living room that way. 
When it comes to local artists, buy it if you love it. Support our local change-making creatives. 
If you are going to spend your money on something, buy anything to do with self-discovery, development, and expression. That is money well spent! That goes right into the long-lasting fulfillment tank. 

Support charities and organizations that are in the world helping people. 

 

Start to pull your spending away from bad business, people out to make a buck or destroy our health and our nature.
 
Look into funding campaigns and people doing good work like developing new technologies that help people and our world.  

As I move into being an even more conscious consumer, I was reminded of my need for things and wanted to share what intel I received. I hope you are also able to take a look and see where your spending habits come from and if they are feeding a feeling.

Love + Light
Adera
Becoming An Entrepreneur – false starts and nagging heart

Becoming An Entrepreneur – false starts and nagging heart

Clients, friends or first-time acquaintances sometimes ask, “how did you become you?”      

Well, that’s a loaded question full of ups, downs, and circles of course, and I think what they are really wondering is how did I create my life, my business and my way of being in the world. I’ve been told I can be a breath of fresh air from some of the bull crap in the business world.

Well, to make a long story (37-year journey to date) a short one, I first noticed that I had leadership tendencies in elementary school, when one day I was able to convince my entire grade 6 class to go on strike and refuse to go into the classroom as a ‘take that teachers.” I was known as the kid with a smirk who liked to be disruptive, liked to challenge the status quo and always wanted to know “WHY?” It makes sense that I would have a career as an interviewer. I am just so curious, and that curiosity was never beaten out of me by society, by influencers or anyone who told me I was wrong. I just refused to conform to someone else’s ideas of who I would be when I knew damn well that only I would know the answer to that, (thank you, Mom, for that awesome gift) and so I set off on my soul finding journey! (Plug for LIGHT FINDERS here if you are on your own quest).

That journey included 65+ jobs from radio, tv, promotions, retail, hospitality, bindery, bartender, marketing, sales, events, catering, house cleaning, deli counters, door to door sales, child care, producer, director, interviewer, personal assistant, entertainer, speaker, camera assistant, editor, and many more experiences that brought me closer to what really made me feel alive (plus I didn’t go to secondary school, so I built my own college) which all brought me closer to my first ever dream job which was the TV Show that I mentioned in my earlier blog.

During this time of self-discovery, I did a lot of internal work. I went to dozens of retreats, gatherings, and workshops that allowed me to tap more clearly into my truth and purpose. I also had a wild transformational experience in Ireland – (working on the book). So needless to say, the culmination of all of this and more brought me to where I am today. I had years of experiences to draw on that helped me distinguish who I was at my core.

There were a few false starts as an Entrepreneur.

One, when I was 21 and I started a program called D.A.R.E.M for kids to (Dance, Act, Recreate, Energy, Movement) and what’s really funny about that, as I am writing it, I realize now that a) I love acronyms (L.I.G.H.T U.P. come on) and b) this is pretty much what I am doing now, except I am focusing on igniting the passion and purpose of entrepreneurs!

The second false start, I was 29 and I thought maybe I would start a business doing errand running, event coordinating etc. and called it The Go to Gal. Thank goodness I had some awesome friends at the time that could see that I would probably be unhappy doing that and thought it would be cooler as a TV Show idea. So that’s what we did. And the rest is now history. That show morphed into SPIRO Creative, SPIRO Creative had a few offshoots (SPIRO DIY VIDEO and PASSIONPRENEUR TV) both were majorly time sucking and not profitable – which morphed into this site –

the ADERA ANGELUCCI  brand where I am putting my leadership and coaching skills to use helping people step out in a bigger way by feeling confident and clear in sharing their message and passion before putting lights and cameras in their face. I get to play here in addition to hosting retreats, speaking and well, doing all the things that make me feel ALIVE IN ME.

It’s a work in progress and I am still trying to define exactly how I help and the funny thing is that I can’t yet. My work here is intangible because it affects every person differently. It’s whatever that person needs to experience and feel the most to set them on their path for their highest good. I know that’s what I do. I love supporting good people on a mission to be all they were born to be and to share their message with clarity confidence and power. What I dream of now is building an army of change-makers who help to awaken our spirits. 

My tips on starting your own dream journey are this: If you have a nagging heart that won’t let up and is encouraging you to go after something more thrilling and exciting then you could possibly imagine, then the first thing you have to do right now is:

START: Start something. Start meeting people, start imagining, start playing because the more you do the more it will lead you to where you truly want to be. You are ready for whatever comes into your life.

TALK: Say to as many people as possible what you are wishing for, what you are dreaming about. The ones that poo poo you, you know not to talk to any more about it, and the ones that support you will become your people. Hang with those people.

LISTEN: Learn to listen in, listen to your hearts message and trust that it’s there for a reason. Do activities that make it louder, and be willing to go within as much as possible and start to act on the things you are hearing.

You could live a mediocre life or a freakin rockstar one! It’s totally up to you. If you choose the latter, I am here to support you every step of the way. The first step could start right now if you are willing – all you have to do is go here.

Wishing you a life of true fulfillment and heart smiles. The world needs more of those.

Now it’s your turn, I’d love to hear from you!

What dream do you have brewing? I’d love to hear in the comments below. 

Love Adera